5 Ways to Deal With Kenya's Greedy MP(igs)

There has been a lot of uproar of the last few days over the Kenyan Members of Parliament (MPigs) decision to award themselves more money. Yesterday there were demos organized by the civil society, but that's all it was, a demonstration, with few expecting it to achieve anything. Some people are however asking what more can be done to deal with Kenya's greedy MP-igs, something more practical, something done NOW! Well, I have a few "innovative" ideas.



1. Send them on a trip to The Mara: We all know that there is nothing these guys like like an expensive all expenses paid trip. We can pack the whole lot in a bus and send them to Maasai Mara on a trip. We must however pick the dry season and when the wildebeests and zebras are across the border in Tanzania. I assume that if we then abandon them in the middle of the park, and with starving lions...and let whatever happens, happen. Ok, I know that the conservationists will argue that this is tantamount to poisoning lions so it will probably not happen.

2. All women in Kenya, wives and mistresses to deny MPs sex indefinitely. Knowing their appetite for this, but oops! Wouldn't the female MPigs decide to pass it round to their colleagues? Bad idea maybe. But again if you look at the female MPs, barring Charity, that in itself would be torture!

3. Sentence Onyancha to life in prison and imprison him in parliament buildings (with all his tools of trade), maybe he can get his victim balance from there. But maybe this is being unkind to serial killers, I understand they prefer actual human beings, not insensitive, bloated, delusions of grandeur suffering....

4. Drop the buggers in the middle of River Road, and with no police in sight, shout MWIZI! Then let Kenyan idlers do what they do best!!

5. Move parliament sessions to a location out of Nairobi. Since they say that Nairobi is an expensive town hence they need to be paid more, why not move the sessions to let us say Mogadishu? or Baghdad? Or maybe the Pakistan-Afghanistan border? I guess their funeral covers includes the words "collateral damage"!

I know there are more ideas out there on how we can solve pig problems, if you have any that you think might work miracles, I am prepared to listen.

PS: Apologies to the pigs for comparing them to Kenyan legislators

Call, text or email your MP and ask them to pay taxes

See http://www.wananchiforums.com/showthread.php?p=4591#post4591 for a list of MPs and their contact information. Call, text or email your MP and ask them their stand on taxation

Abdirahman, H.Ali - Wajir South - KANU - 0721-724746 / 0722-144999 ahassan@tradeandindustry.go.ke
Chiaba, Mohamed Abu - Lamu East - PNU - 0722-410177
Bahari, Abdul Ali - Isiolo South - KANU - 0733-289501
Balala, Mohammed Najib - Mvita - ODM - 0733 333500 /0724 - 650000 najib@mombasa.co.ke
Bifwoli, Wakoli Sylvester - Bumula - PNU - 0733-865323 Wakolib@yahoo.com
Chepkitony, Lucas Kipkosgei - Keiyo North - ODM - 0733-635894 / 0722816064
Ethuro, David - Turkana Central - PNU- 0722-526370 dethuro@yahoo.com
Gesami, James Ondicho - West Mugirango - ODM- 0733 826090
Gisuka, Machage Wilfred - Kuria - DP - 0733-451806/0725834575
Kajembe, Ramathan Seif - Changamwe - ODM - 0721 609777 Langoni@swiftmombasa.com
Kajwang’, Gerald Otieno - Mbita - ODM - 0722-882787
Kamama, Asman Abongotum - Baringo East - PNU - 0731-583303
Karua, Martha Wangari Gichugu - PNU - 0721 623 342 / 0733-747551
Kenneth, Peter Gatanga - PNU - 0722 512996 andykenneth@hotmail.com
Kenyatta, Uhuru - Gatundu South - KANU - 0722 463 891
Keter, Charles Cheruiyot - Belgut - ODM - 0722 530555
Khalwale Boni - Ikolomani - NEW FORD-K - 0721 318722
Khaniri, George Munyasa - Hamisi - ODM - 0722-859341
Kilonzo, Julias Kiema Mutito - ODM-K - 0722-513605 kilonzo@wananchi.com
Kilonzo, Charles Mutavi - Yatta - ODM-K - 0734-621593 ckilonzo@crystalvaluers.com
Kimunya Amos Muhinga Kipipiri PNU - 0722518801 / 520936 kipipiri@wananchi.com
Kinyanjui, Lee Maiyani - Nakuru Town - PNU - 0722 842653
Kiunjuri, Festus Mwangi - Laikipia East - PNU - 0721 600 305
Kuti Mohammed Abdi - Isiolo North - NARC-K - 0733 235914
Lesirma, Simeon Saimanga - Samburu West - ODM - 0722-719946 simeonlesrima@yahoo.com
Magara - James Omingo - South Mugirango - ODM - 0722 911274 jomingo45@yahoo.com
Katoo, Ole Metito J - Kajiado South - 0721-640175
Midiwo, Washington Jakoyo - Gem - ODM - 0721 504 040 / 0733 421277/ 0722 935761
Mohamed, A.H.M - Mandera West - ODM - 0722-779942
Mohammed, Haji Yusuf - Ijara - KANU - 0722-709395
Mugo, Beth Wambui - Dagoretti - PNU - 0722-205753 bmugo@kenyaweb.com
Mungatana, Danson Buya - Garsen - NARC-K - 0722-411971 mungatana@wanainchi.com
Munyes, John Kiyonga - Turkana North - PNU - 0721-339094 johnmunyes@yahoo.com
Murungi, Kiraitu - South Imenti - PNU - 0721-240863 waziri@kenyaweb.com
Musila, David - Mwingi South - ODM-K - 0722 571117 davidmusila@yahoo.com
Musyoka, Stephen Kalonzo - Mwingi North - ODM-K - 0722 523 872 / 0735 161 588
Mwangi, Onesmus Kigumo - PNU - 0722-778581 kiharamwangimp@yahoo.com
Mwatela, Andrew Calist - Mwatate - ODM 0733 719 871
Mwiria, Valerian Kilemi - Tigania West - PNU - 0733-657562 kilemimwiria@africanonline.co.ke
Ndambuki, Gideon Musyoka - Kaiti - ODM-K - 0720-384553/0734-758567 gndambuki@wananchi.com
Githae, Robinson Njeru - Ndia - PNU - 722514837
Nkaisserry, Joseph Kasaine - Kajiado Central - ODM - 0721-356786 nkaisserry@wananchi.com
Nyong’o, Peter Anyang’ - Kisumu Rural - ODM - 0733 454 133 pan@africaonline.co.ke
Odinga, Raila Amolo - Langata - ODM - 0733 620 736 railaaodinga@yahoo.com
Oginga, Oburu Bondo - ODM - 0733 818517/ 0724-105493 oburu_oginga@yahoo.com
Odeke, Sospeter Ojaamongson Amagoro - ODM - 0733 967345 / 0722 813819
Ojode, Joshua Orwa Ndhiwa - ODM - 0722- 514830 Ojode7@hotmail.com
Okemo, Chrysanthus Nambale - ODM - 0733-608895 Chrisokemo@yahoo.com
Olweny, Patrick Ayiecho - Muhoroni - ODM - 0722-734187/0733-784633
Onyancha, Charles - Bonchari - ODM - 0722-248190 jonyancha2002@yahoo.com
Oparanya, Wycliffe Ambetsa - Butere - ODM - 0722 521856
Osebe, Walter Enock Nyambati - Kitutu Masaba - N LP - 0722 724 556
Poghisio, Samuel Losuron Kacheliba - ODM-K - 0722-520663 / 0734-200836 poghisio@wananchi.com
Ruto, Samoei William K. - Eldoret North - ODM - 0722 517 997 info@williamrutto.com
Shaban Naomi Namsi Taveta KANU 0722 814 412
Shitanda, Peter Soita - Malava - NEW FORD-K - 0721-341241 soita-shitanda@yahoo.com
Sugow Ahmed Aden Fafi KANU 0721-596726
Twaha, Yasin Fahim - Lamu West - NARC-K - 0722-925108
Wekesa, Noah Muhlanganga - Kwanza - PNU - 0722-774374 noahwekesa@hotmail.com
Were, David Aoko Matungu - ODM - 0722 707548/0733 569180 scorpionwere@yahoo.com
Wetangula - Moses Makisa Sirisia - PNU - 0722 517 302 / 806 363 mwetangula@hotmail.com
ATTORNEY GENERAL OF KENYA: Amos Wako 0722 772 453
Hon William Kipkiror Cheptumo, LLB, MP, Assistant Minister for Ministry of Justice & National Cohesion, 0711696756; 0722716103.
Elizabeth Ongoro (Kasarani) - 0723870741,0722897529
Mathioya's Mp Mobile 0725 740830
Henry Kosgey – 0722 759877
Kangundo MP Johnstone muthama, His number is 0733900300
Kitui South MP. Isaac Mulatya Muoki 0722 295903.
Musalia Mudavadi -0722527614
Uhuru Kenyatta - 0722463891
MP for Nyeri Town, Esther Murugi Mathenge: 0722932794 esthermurugi@yahoo.com
Fred Outa's (MP Nyando) no. is 0722818983

List from Wananchi Forums

MP Taxation - Who is Fooling Who

I have been following the MPs taxation debate keenly, but also with a lot of anger. First I felt angry watching the speaker equate paying of taxes with charity, and then upon hearing that the minister for Industrialization said that he did not know where taxes go therefore he could not pay taxes (surely if a cabinet minister does not know where taxes go, what then is expected of us mortals?). The prime minister is on record as saying that the MPs have too much commitment to pay taxes (mortgages and loans), as if we ordinary Kenyans are also not interested in the finer things of life as well. My anger dissipated as soon as I realized that we are dealing with politicians anyway and therefore they are just keeping in character.

Things however got a bit complicated when I started hearing that there were MPs who were now 'volunteering' to have their pay taxed. Make no mistake, I appreciate people submitting themselves to be taxed, but this is mere hypocricy. Would it not have made sense for them to stand on the floor of the House and actually vote for taxation? The cabinet, if you count the assistant ministers, has slightly over 90 MPs...I am sure if the President, the PM and Michuki whipped them in line, then we would have seen a real commitment by the Government to have the proposals pushed through, and even if the Government lost in the process, Kenyans who have been able to separate the wheat from the chaff.

Lastly, how will the public be able to keep tabs on the so called tax volunteers? Will they publish their payslips every month for us to ascertain that indeed they have been taxed?