Wednesday, June 23, 2010

The Old Man vs The School Brats

While cleaning up my computer, I came across this story. I can't remember where I picked it from (hope I will not get sued) but it made me laugh out loudly. Nothing like an old head!! However it got me thinking about how stuff that we enjoy become boring once we start getting paid to do it!!!

A wise old gentleman retired and purchased a modest home near a junior high school. He spent the first few weeks of his retirement in peace and contentment. Then a new school year began. The very next afternoon three young boys, full of youthful, after-school enthusiasm, came down his street, beating merrily on every trash can they encountered. The crashing percussion continued day after day, until finally the wise old man decided it was time to take some action.

The next afternoon, he walked out to meet the young percussionists as they banged their way down the street. Stopping them, he said, "You kids are a lot of fun. I like to see you express your exuberance like that. In fact, I used to do the same thing when I was your age. Will you do me a favor? I'll give you each a dollar if you'll promise to come around every day and do your thing."

The kids were elated and continued to do a bang-up job on the trashcans.
After a few days, the old-timer greeted the kids again, but this time he had a sad smile on his face. "This recession's really putting a big dent in my income," he told them. "From now on, I'll only be able to pay you 50 cents to beat on the cans."
The noisemakers were obviously displeased, but they accepted his offer and continued their afternoon ruckus. A few days later, the wily retiree approached them again as they drummed their way down the street.

"Look," he said, "I haven't received my Social Security check yet, so I'm not going to be able to give you more than 25 cents. Will that be okay?"
"A freakin' quarter?" the drum leader exclaimed. "If you think we're going to waste our time, beating these cans around for a quarter, you're nuts! No way, dude. We quit!" And the old man enjoyed peace and serenity for the rest of his days.

Monday, June 21, 2010

Acting Key Skill in Football

After closely watching the 2010 World Cup in South Africa, and football in general, I think I have an answer to Kenya’s footballing woes, or at least part of it. Football Kenya Limited (FKL) needs to open an acting school asap! Yes, I said it, acting has now become a core football skill and any successful footballer or football team must possess this key skill. All the major teams and players nowadays seem to be well drilled in this form. The days of Maradona struggling to stay on his feet as the opposition tried their best to hack him down are long gone. Nowadays it is common to see a strong big man like Cote D’Ivoire’s Kader Keita go down like he has been gunned down after a slight touch by Kaka. Not that I excuse Kaka, a footballer of his calibre needs to know better than to show that kind of petulance especially when already on a yellow card but his touch could never have even brought by 7 year old daughter down. Not only did he “touch” Keita’s chest, the chap went down clutching his face as if he was the recipient of a Tyson blow!

Brazillian Star Kaka

But Keita is not the only one doing it. I figure he must have learnt his trade from his teammate Drogba. For a man of Drogba’s size, I have often marvelled at his ability to go down from the slightest of touches as if he has been pole-axed. I still marvel at his incidence with former Arsenal keeper “mad’ Jens Lehman when both shoved each other and they all went down in a heap. Another great master of diving of course is Cristiano Ronaldo. A few seasons back, with United losing in the final minutes against Spurs and needing a point to keep their title charge alive, Ronaldo went rolling in the penalty area as if a truck had run into him. Replays showed that there had been no contact at all but of course Ronaldo scored the penalty and United went ahead to win the league title.

I am therefore calling on FKL to urgently contract David Mulwa and Charles Bukeko (Papa Shirandulla) to open an acting school for soccer players if Kenya are to advance far in major tournaments. This effort should be supported by the Government and all players should be compelled to attend these classes. We shall then be able to see more opponents sent off and win those crucial penalties in important games!