Tuesday, October 25, 2011

A Blog, Immaturity and Blood

It has been a while since I was on this blog, or any other blog for example. I will not bore you with details of how busy my life was but in between the everyday "busyness" of life, I found time to discover one very interesting blog, Project 44 - Eve and Adam. I have previously seen the people who blog there leave comments on my blog and even though I had meaning to click on their link, for some time I never got round to doing it. So one day I clicked on the link. I say the blog is interesting because it is not common (at least for me) to find some local bloggers objectively discussing issues of relationships in a reasonable manner. Most of the local blog posts I come across on these issues tend to be about whining about how (especially marriages) are a dying institution and mostly highlight the negative. But maybe that is what readers are interesting in reading. So for me it was like a breadth of fresh air to come across this blog. Please pay them a visit, you will not be disappointed.

One of the posts I found interesting was a post about maturity. This got me reflecting about how many times I have exhibited behaviour that might be termed immature in my own relationships. Ok, maybe I should not be writing this, but now that I am writing this...These are some of the immature actions I have cast upon my loving partner who seems to have the patience of a Hindu saint.

One of the most silly thing I have done in the past is sulk. I know some will say that sulking is for women but truth be told, for many years I have been a sulker. When I was in school I would sulk for some time when I fell out with a friend, at times go days without speaking to him. On reflection, I only sulked if the offending party was a friend I held dear. If we had an argument and I felt nothing, then you did not mean anything to me. I have had misunderstandings with partner and I have sulked. I can say that there have been times when I have gone for days without speaking to my partner. When we finally spoke, we could not remember what was the problem in the first place. Nowadays I understand the immaturity of not wanting to speak to each other.

But perhaps one of my most immature actions took place in the middle of the night on a lonely road. We were from a night club and my partner and I had an argument. The argument continued in the car and at one point feeling I could not take more of this, I just slammed on the brakes, stopped the car in the middle of the road at 2am and decided I was going to walk the rest of the 10km home. My wife thought I was joking but I walked on, until she traced me 20 minutes later. I will not comment on how the situation was resolved but later I could not help thinking about I had exposed both my wife and I to danger, considering that this was a carjacking prone area. There has been other incidents, like damaging something but let me not expose my myself. All I can say is that I have now matured enough.

Still talking of maturity, what better way is there to show maturity than donating blood? Recently I met a team of young people who have decided to contribute to society by developing a blood donors database. I know this does not sound like a lot in the West or more developed countries with efficient blood bank systems but here it is a big deal. Going by the name of Wanadamu (literally meaning people of blood but also intimating humanity), their idea is simple. Wanadamu is an initiative that aims at bringing together donors and patients requiring blood by maintaining a database of willing donors. These donors are then contacted on demand, should an emergency blood appeal be made. It also avails the convenience to donors of knowing that they will be called upon as and when required. Enter your name and contact details and blood type into a database and when there is an emergency need of your blood type in your location, you could be contacted to donate blood. During this month of heroes, they are encouraging Kenyans to be heroes by donating blood to those in need. For me, this is something that we should all get involved in. Please click on this link to register and pass the info round. The objective is to have a minimum of 1000 donors in each of the 47 counties.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

A Play and A Song

My last post indicated that I was going to be watching a play (Wanjiku's Dilemma) by my good friend Oby Obyerodhyambo. Well, I can now confirm that I did go on the opening night and I was not disappointed. And because I promised one of my readers that I will get back to her about what the play is about, here I am (with help from the play's synopsis.

The moot question that ‘Wanjiku’s Dilemma’ explores is, ‘Why would anyone remain in an abusive, dysfunctional relationship?’ This resonated well with me as it is something I wrote HERE awhile back. Oby asks why it is that someone in an abusive relationship cannot simply tear away and leave if they are getting a raw deal, if they are disrespected, humiliated and trod on? What makes a person stay soaking in the pain and suffering? Is it a nagging thought that things could get better if they stayed just a little longer or that walking out could expose them to even worse? What if the aggrieved party decides to ‘do something’ to free themselves from this bondage? Something finite, something definitive, how will onlookers and spectators, who have watched the humiliation all along, judge that action? Will they approve, appreciate and understand? Will they forgive, if that act calls for forgiving?

In the drama Wanjiku is accused of a capital crime; one that her advocate Tunu is determined will not stick. Tunu believes this is a case célèbre that she has waited for all her life as a human rights lawyer to make a point and set a legal precedent. She is determined to use all the tricks in the book, and out of the books to make the point. This is what worries Alice, her mother, that she is too personally involved in the case to assume the objectivity that an advocate needs for clarity. I have watched Oby in action for a number of years so it was not a surprise that he tries to present powerful arguments by both sides and cajoles you as the audience to try to solve this dilemma. The play is a riveting mind-teaser and Wanjiku’s dilemma is shared by the audience all through. Dilemmas have no easy answers and Wanjiku’s is no exception. The acting was quite good for an opening night and the director, George Mungai, did a super job. If you are in Nairobi and have not watched this play, make a point to. It closes on Saturday at Phoenix.

That was about the play, now about the song. Kenyan Mom is a wonderful blogger and if you want the quirky side of mothering in Kenya, please follow her blog, you will not be disappointed. She also gave me some pointers / inspiration through a blog post that got me blogging with more happiness but she does not know that. Sometimes back, she decided that she could randomly assign me a song. I did not pay much attention to this song but I found myself listening to this song by Bob Carlisle over the weekend and enjoyed it so much that I thought I should share it here with friends. Enjoy Butterfly Kisses.