My Questions for Wiki Leaks

I have been holding my breath to see if there is anything sensational to come out of Wiki Leaks about Kenya in the past one week but I have seen nothing ‘earth shaking’, except to state a well known fact that Kenya is indeed a swamp of corruption and that we facilitated exportation of military ware to South Sudan, in contravention of a peace accord we helped create. On the Tuesday Daily Nation, columnist Macharia Gaitho wrote what he thinks the American Ambassador here should have written to Obama, ending with the hope that he should be allowed to run for president of Kenya as he does not think highly of the three top men in Kenya.

However on a more sillier note (naturally), I would have hoped for Wiki Leaks to at least shed some light on the following 5 key issues:


Hoping Assange can help answer my five concerns


1. Is the American government (in cahoots with key Kenyan politicians) behind the mushrooming of FM radio stations and Mexican Soap Operas, two institutions that have done more to promote stupidity among the general population than schools have managed to, the aim of which is to keep the entire population focused on triviality and consumption thus being unable to realize that they are being bled dry by politicians and big business

2. Does the American Government think William Ruto and Alfred Mutua were born stupid or it is something they have had to work hard to achieve? Is Alfred Mutua a US spy planted by the American Government to make Kenyans generally look stupid so that no one takes us seriously?

3. Was the production of Tusker Project Fame Season 4 (music talent program modeled along the lines on American Idols) an attempt by the sponsors (East African Breweries) to kill of East African talent once and for all by making everyone so disillusioned that we all give up on talent and resort to drinking thus driving sales up for the beer maker?

4. Did the Obama administration help pass the law that states that Kenyan journalists and news reporters must lack critical awareness, have low standards of education and undergo lobotomy so at to make watching news rival watching the World Snail Athletics Championships?

5. Is Justin Bieber an American Government project to gain mind control of the world?

For now I will seat by my computer,waiting to see if the incoming set of cables will answer these concerns.

Image from google images. If you are the copyright owner of the photo and want it removed, let me know

My Shujaas

So yesterday was Mashujaa (Hero’s) Day, and everybody went gaga talking about great men and women, patriotic people who have sacrificed their lives for the freedom of this country, gave their sweat and blood to put the country’s name on the map, worked tirelessly to improve our lives etc. etc. But wait a minute, must a hero be someone who indulges in self-sacrifice, be willing to put their lives on the line for your sake, be read to sweat blood for our sake? When I think about those who have influenced my life, made me to be who I am, they are not always those who fit into your hero stereotypes. Yes, I know about my father sacrificing his house to put us through college, that teacher who inspired a dream, that boss who pushed me into the right direction and showed me career tricks…but I am however here to celebrate other small heroes who in one way or another changed my life, mostly unwittingly.

Caroline Mutoko and Kiss FM (and by extension FM radio presenters): Why are they my heroes? They made me stop listening to FM radio and this has made the quality of my life better. Years ago, like millions of Kenyans, I too tuned in to the radio stations to listen to the nonsense that FM presenters regurgitate every morning. Kiss FM was the leading station by then but the more Mutoko ranted her nonsense then, I was put off radio. Nowadays I don’t listen to radio at all (with the exception of BBC occasionally and sports commentaries) and that has helped me keep my sanity. To be fair to her, I am made to understand that she has improved over the recent years, shed off some arrogance but nonetheless I am not willing to find out.

Michuki, Kiraitu Murungi, Kutuny, Ruto and other Kenyan politicians: When Narc got rid of Moi and his cronies from power in 2002, I joined the rest of the country in believing that change was indeed on the way. Then came Michuki’s famous juggling of the liver analogy and Kiraitu’s women willing to be raped speech. Those made me realize that even after Moi, Kenyan politicians still have the intelligence of garden tools. People like Ruto (both William and Isaac), Jakoyo, Mbugua, Kutunyu and their ilk have since strongly confirmed this. They are my heroes because they successfully killed any aspirations I might have had of getting engaged in politics.

Alfred Mutua, Kenya government spokesman: He is one of my biggest heroes. Whereas I previously thought that people who have gone through colleges, and even lectured there, are generally intelligent people who know what they are talking about and weigh their words carefully, Mutua has gracefully taught me not to make such assumptions. His denial about a blast at Wilson Airport, insisting that it was an explosion (or was it the other way round), his bundling of a matatu driver into his car trunk and his creative efforts at Cobra Squad taught me important life lessons, always look beyond education Charles.

Church Clergy: I used to believe strongly in God, until I started giving the clergy, especially the so called televangelists, audience. Then doubts started to creep in. Don’t get me wrong, there are some honest believers out there but the more I listen to the clergy, the more I doubted the existence of God. When I stopped going to church and listening to evangelists, then I found God. Does this mean they are heroes or not, I am getting confused there….

Celebrating the Culture of Thuggery

Is it me or are we slowly starting to invert the concept of good and bad? It seems to me that it is nowadays becoming more and more fashionable to be "bad" rather than "good". Let me explain. When I was growing up, I was a big fan of the WWF (nowadays WWE) wrestling series. Back in those days, wrestling was rather simple, there were the bad (or evil) guys and the good guys. Everybody supported the good guys and even though the bad guys at times won (mostly by dirty tricks such as knocking out the referee), it was the good guys who won most of the fights, in a clean manner. Then things began to slowly change. The evil undertaker started to become popular. The moment the beer drinking, profanity uttering Stone Cold, with a vast array of dirty tricks up his sleeves become the most popular wrestler, I knew it was time for me to move on. Nowadays the 'badder' you are, the most popular you will be.


Stone Cold: The badder, the better

I came across this reflection during the recent by elections in Kenya. It seemed to me as if it were that the more murkier your past was, the more the questions and speculations about how you got your wealth, the more popular you were. I have nothing against the newly elected MPs for Makadara and Juja but the fact that they seems to be extremely wealthy, and that nobody seems to be able to explain the sources of their wealth has been more of a plus for them as opposed to being a hindrance. I will not speculate on the sources of their wealth, or reproduce rumours of it that are in the public as I am too poor for litigation, but I have been surprised at how the fact that they almost seem to be thugs has been a reason for celebration.


Mike Mbuvi aka Sonko


Yesterday, the Daily Nation had this on their Facebook page:"The new MP for Makadara known as Mike Sonko is fast becoming an urban legend with Parliament. On Wednesday, stories were circulating of people with some similarity to Sonko some linked to crime. The 35-year-old MP, who often sports oversized casual shirts and expensive jewellery, has fired up the imagination with his display of largely unexplained wealth." These were some of the comments that followed it:
-Leave sonko alone where is da complainant foko jembe,media 2 i havent heard any1 cal a pres conf an says mbuvi aliniibia ama is a thug bure kabisa
-atsii.arent the other mps proved thugs from morasses,maize,angloleasing,freeprimary education,goldenberg yet have seen any prove on sonko claims mwacheni jamaani kwani DN hanma news.
-Mike uko juu 2 sana wenye uwivu wajiyonge tutawazika!
-There are always h8z every whea. Their presence and panganga' signifies that the new kid on our block is bringin change and development. So gud mornin h8z, sit down relax nd see how an mp frm makadara should work.
-I tink sonko has juz proven dem wrong. Mike move ahead wid ua head up na kazi iendelee. bravo mheshimiwa u r mo than wat they tink u r!!!

The more devious you are in attaining your goals, the more adept you are at cheating the system, if you can hit below the belt and not get caught, then you are a hero my son! That's what wrestling has taught us as a generation