Monday, June 21, 2010

Acting Key Skill in Football

After closely watching the 2010 World Cup in South Africa, and football in general, I think I have an answer to Kenya’s footballing woes, or at least part of it. Football Kenya Limited (FKL) needs to open an acting school asap! Yes, I said it, acting has now become a core football skill and any successful footballer or football team must possess this key skill. All the major teams and players nowadays seem to be well drilled in this form. The days of Maradona struggling to stay on his feet as the opposition tried their best to hack him down are long gone. Nowadays it is common to see a strong big man like Cote D’Ivoire’s Kader Keita go down like he has been gunned down after a slight touch by Kaka. Not that I excuse Kaka, a footballer of his calibre needs to know better than to show that kind of petulance especially when already on a yellow card but his touch could never have even brought by 7 year old daughter down. Not only did he “touch” Keita’s chest, the chap went down clutching his face as if he was the recipient of a Tyson blow!

Brazillian Star Kaka

But Keita is not the only one doing it. I figure he must have learnt his trade from his teammate Drogba. For a man of Drogba’s size, I have often marvelled at his ability to go down from the slightest of touches as if he has been pole-axed. I still marvel at his incidence with former Arsenal keeper “mad’ Jens Lehman when both shoved each other and they all went down in a heap. Another great master of diving of course is Cristiano Ronaldo. A few seasons back, with United losing in the final minutes against Spurs and needing a point to keep their title charge alive, Ronaldo went rolling in the penalty area as if a truck had run into him. Replays showed that there had been no contact at all but of course Ronaldo scored the penalty and United went ahead to win the league title.

I am therefore calling on FKL to urgently contract David Mulwa and Charles Bukeko (Papa Shirandulla) to open an acting school for soccer players if Kenya are to advance far in major tournaments. This effort should be supported by the Government and all players should be compelled to attend these classes. We shall then be able to see more opponents sent off and win those crucial penalties in important games!


  1. Couldn't agree more with what you've said. The number of players who go down as if fatally wounded, only to be up and running about 2 minutes later is simply embarrassing.

  2. well, it seems most things are going south these days, including something as sacrosanct as football...i agree with Charles that indeed things have changed. Back in the day, players had to be physically compelled to land on their bottoms or backs or stomachs for that matter. Nowadays, looking at our current crop of "poster footballers", who frankly speaking should decide on any of these three careers - acting (as Charles so rightly pointed out), modeling and/or investment banking - one gets the feeling that football needs to be brought back to its rightful place, and that is in the game! The only thing missing in the World Cup for me, is, football!

    When i see players rushing to the referee to award them a penalty because a projectile a.k.a as Jabulani happens to land on someone's hand, or winking conspiratorially to each other after conniving to have some other player sent off, or crumbling into heaps of despair and pain upon making contact with blades of grass, or earning mega bucks per week to do exactly this, i get sick!

    I agree there have been moments of brilliance every now and then, but we are quite a long way off from reclaiming football from the lowly levels to which it has sunk. One thing that i hope this World Cup will do, and i particularly do not care whichever team employs whichever number of tricks and turns to claim it, is bring back the beauty of the game to the game and for the players to enjoy it, for only then is the true magnificence of the game manifested.