Point to Ponder: Of Coca Cola, Juggling, Family and Work

Some of us who have been castigated for spending more time at work at the cost of being with family like using the argument that success at work will guarantee future benefits and time with the family. How does the family expect me to provide them the finer things in life, let alone the basic needs, if I am not able to advance myself at the work place? How will I afford the best colleges for the kids, one or two holidays outside the country if I am but an average worker? Those making the noise should therefore cool their heels and wait till that time when we will be able to afford the time with them as they want. But as I have since discovered, it is not all that simple, and recently I received a timely reminder when someone posted this image on my facebook wall.

For those with sight problems it reads: "Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the air. They are Work, Family, Health, Friends and Spirit and you’re keeping all of these in the air. You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls – family, health, friends, and spirit – are made of glass. If you drop any of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged or even shattered. They will bever be the same. You must understand that and strive for it. Work efficiently during office hours and leave on time. Give the required time to your family, friends and have proper rest." I might not necessarily be able to tell how genuine this speech is (with the internet you can never really tell what is fact and myth nowadays) but this speech certainly struck a chord for me. I hope it communicates something to all my fellow workaholics out there! In the meanwhile, I will leave this lying around the office where the bosses can "accidentally" discover it! In other news, it has been raining the proverbial cats and dogs in Nairobi. We generally don't trust the meteorological department here, that is why this picture brought a big smile on my face

4 Pointer For A 19yr Old Wannabe [Back Then]

Yes, I know it has been awhile but will nevertheless not bore anybody with any details on why I had gone awol in the blogosphere. I might not have left much evidence behind but I was able to peep (and on a few occasions leave some comments) on some of your blogs but for those I never geto to say happy new year to, well here it is: HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

And because a new year brings with it great expectations and some of us even go as far as making resolutions and creating visions and philosophies for the new year, this year I decided to do the opposite. To go back in time - not physically but in doing the so called resolution thing.

Sometimes in December I went to visit in my rural home. And while there, I came across some gem. My dad, while getting rid of junk from years gone by, had unearthed an old piece of paper dating back to the year after I had just finished high school. In this paper, I had typed (using a typewriter as it would be years before I actually touched a computer) four slogans that I thought will carry me through college and life. So many years later, holding this yellowish piece of paper than my youngest brother had managed to save from an intended fire, it downed on me that these four slogans are still relevant to my life, in fact even more so today now that life has over the years made me more cynical. And so for my 2012 reflections, I go back in time to when I was 19 years and say that, several jobs, a wife, 2 kids, wider girth, and many a grey hair later, this is what I still want to have in my life:

1. Easy Does It
"Problems or any crisis that needs solutions should be approached with a relaxed mind. Patience is a philosophy of living, to be learnt slowly and absorbed into our hearts and minds. Avoid hurry while sorting out issues as this may only resort to confusion and tension hence making the whole situation worse - easy does it".

2. First Things First
"Many of our confusions and frustrations are due to our failure to deal with tasks and problems in the order of their importance. It does take discipline to put aside the things we would rather do, and attend to those of first importance first. But the rewards are great, we get things done, we enjoy a sense of accomplishment, and we learn to face issues with a real sense of value and purpose".

Image from here

3. Live and Let Live
"This is a reminder that most of us need often. We need to make ourselves realize that we are not equipped to judge or criticize others for what they are or for what they do. Our only concern should be our own conduct, our own improvement, our own lives. Each of us is entitled to his own view of things, but we have no right to inflict it on anyone else. If there are differences of opinion, treat them objectively without offending anyone through criticism.

4.Let Go and Let God:
"Everyday there are decisions to be made adn problems to be solved. When you notice irritations growing into tensions, tensions into near panic, and old fears returning, this is the time to stop short and turn to God. You can do nothing anyway, and you will find that if you supply the willingness he will supply the power".

I don't know who the authors for these were as I was probably typing them from some book but if it happens to be your relative or something, kindly let me know and let's avoid this SOPA/PIPA thing :)

Here's to wishing you all a great 2012 and hope you will continue reading!

Points to Ponder - On Waking Up, Courage and Happy Vegetables

As we move towards the end of the year, I am finding that I require more effort than usual to get out of the bed and go to work. My mind and body needs a break but work schedule does not allow it. I generally feel disinterested, and even tired, and cannot do the stuff that I would ordinarily do effortless, without some concerted effort. But to keep me going, there are 3 brilliant points to ponder that I have kept in mind. So let me share, you never know who else might need a push as I do at the moment.

Courage is no more than cussed stubbornness, and I have plenty of that. It means getting up each day and doing what you have to, going on when circumstances let you down, pushing ahead when others hold you back... Lamar Dodd

I have always felt that the moment when first you wake up in the morning is the most wonderful of the 24 hours. No matter how weary you feel, you possess the certainty that anything may happen. The fact that it practically always doesn't, matters not one jot. The possibility is there. Monica Baldwin in I Leap Over The Wall

People need trouble - a little frustration to sharpen the spirit on, toughen it. Artists do, I don't mean you need to live in a rat hole or gutter, but you have to learn fortitude, endurance. Only vegetables are happy - William Faulkner

I actually think I want to be like this!

Do you have an interesting passage that pushes you on when you don't feel like it? Please share

Walk With Kings But Don't Lose The Common Touch

Hmm, here is a story that last week opened my eyes to how different we are and how we can easily assume that all of us are intrigued by the same stuff. Last Saturday I decided to meet a friend for a drink in town. He had in his company two (beautiful) ladies with whom we chatted with about the various topics that people who have just met for the first time over a drink chat about. Politics, celebrities, weather, music and other stuff.

The conversation however took an interesting turn when, talking about public transport, I mentioned that I once had a conversation with someone who grew up in Nairobi but had never been in public transport until she finished her college education. I was thus surprised when one of the ladies confessed that she had never been in public transport (bus or matatu). I was a bit curious and tried to inquire whether, growing up she had never been curious and had the urge to jump into a matatu or bus and go whenever. No. Yes, I am aware that there are people who have been born into privilege but I assumed that even if your parents had you wrapped under a cocoon of privilege, there will be that "rebellious" streak to stray and see the "other" side of the world? How the rest of the country lived? No, she said, why should she see poverty? She asked. I was lost for word. Whenever I travel to any city or town on business, I usually refuse to be confined to my hotel room and conference facilities and try to go the "masses" side of town, to witness the pulse, the color of that town as I know these are not found on the posh side. No, she said, she is never that curious, not in the least interested.

This is in no away an attempt to judge someone or try to be pious and call others vain, just one of those times that I remind myself that we are different. As for me, "If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue, Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;"

Make Your Own Breaks - Points to Ponder

The thing with taking some leave days is that on the first day you decide to sort out all your documents that have been lying all over for the whole year. Well I finally started my long awaited 2 weeks leave days and figured out, "let me deal with my clutter!". In the process I came across these notes I made about 12 years ago and decided to share them as I found them so relevant to my life today. This is about making my own breaks, from Tom Morris' book "True Success: A New Philosophy of Excellence

1. Define your goals - the quest for success always begins with a target

Image from Internet

2. Seek out those who know more than you - plan to network with those who know more than you

Image from the Internet


3. Pursue your vision with stubborn consistency - the biggest difference between people who succeed and those who do not is not usually talent but persistence

Image from the Internet

4. Make an emotional commitment - without a deep commitment, it is difficult to pursue a dream

Image from the Internet

5. Review and renew your goals

Image from Internet

Do these make sense or is it just one of those so called wisdoms that are spewed at us by motivational speakers and writers?

The Girl You Never Got To Say The Right Words To

Something that I came across that I thought worth sharing:

“If you do something that turns out wrong, you can almost always put it right, get over it, learn from it or at least deny it. But once you have missed out something, it’s gone. There will be the girl you never got to say the right words to, the band you never got to see live, the winning streak you never got to cheer, the brilliant retiring professor whose class you never took, the relative you never got close to. It is a long list no matter what. Try to keep it as short as possible.”
- Gordon Drizchilo, quoted in University of Pennsylvania Daily Pennsylvannian

Reflecting on this, I tried to imagine that one day when I am old, retired and seated under some tree in my rural home, will I look back on my life and regret stuff that I should have done but did not because I was either afraid to do or had developed some convenient excuse? Or will I tell my grandkids that when this and this happened, I was right there in the mix? I have come to realize that sometimes I can be a bit conservative and build excuses for not doing certain things that I ought to do. Sometimes I can come up with an idea that I think is really good and then over the next few days, before sharing it with anyone, poke holes into it myself and prove that it ain’t anything brilliant so I shelve it before I actually share it with anyone. I tell myself that the world is full of many bad ideas and it does not help for me to add another bad idea. Yet I also know that at times, for example I have written a proposal that I myself is not convinced with only to see others get excited and invest in it – with me left wondering what the fuss is this all about. In life we can be our own harshest critic.
And was there a girl I never got to say the right words to? Well, let me just say that I have spent some time trying to write some fiction. As I have said above, I believe there is a lot of bad fiction about, some of which I have actually paid to read, and I keep thinking that it serves nobody any good for me to add to the clutter. But maybe with the inspiration I have seen from the quote above, I can give it a try and share it with others? And as Gordon has put it, if it is bad, I can at least deny it!

Is there something that you looked back on and said I wish I had done this?

Points to Ponder: Filling the Unforgiving Minute...

Just to make one thing clear, I am not a fan of Rudyard Kipling from a political point of view so my admiration for this poem should not necessarily be taken to mean I admire the man's policy on colonialism. But I admire his poem "IF". I first came across this poem when I was in college and going through some hard times. Within a short time, together with my housemates we quickly memorised the poem and each person picked the line which resonated with them at that time. Today I read a blog post about boredom (Meanderings and Reflections), and later I thought about the line If you can fill the unforgiving minute; With sixty seconds' worth of distance run - When I read this line back then, I made a vow that if I lived true to it, then I will always be doing something meaningful with my time - a vow that has been forgotten and broken thousands of time. So today this line becomes my point to ponder for the week. I have also posted the full poem below for those who have not come across it, or had forgotten about it. I would also like to hear back from you on which line resonates with you!


If - Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!




Kipling was an English poet, short-story writer, and novelist chiefly remembered for his celebration of British imperialism, tales and poems of British soldiers in India, and his tales for children.

New Year, New Attitude!

"How strange it is, our little procession of life! The child says, 'when I am a big boy'. But what is that? The big boy says, 'when I grow up.' And then, grown up he says, 'when I get married'. But to be married, what is that after all? The thought changes to 'when I am able to retire.' And then when retirement comes, he looks back over the landscape traversed; a cold wind seems to sweep over it; somehow he has missed it all, and it is gone. Life, we learn too late, is in the living, in the tissue of everyday and hour."

I got this passage (Stephen Leacock) from an old note book today and it seems like the perfect point to ponder on in setting the tone for the new year. I am not a new year resolutions type of person because somehow they just never work for me. I prefer to think more in terms of general philosophies and say that this is what I want to embrace in the coming year. And for 2011, the idea is to do away with any excuses and just get on with living and doing stuff that I will always have an excuse for postponing. No more waiting to save money, waiting to get in shape, waiting for the right time....as the Nike slogan says, I will JUST DO IT! And folks that is my resolution for the new year.

At the beginning of 2010, I wrote about changing the nature of my blog, writing for myself. Did it succeed? I don't know but it suddenly made my blogging better! And on that note it has been wonderful having you all on my blog in 2010, and likewise I have discovered and enjoyed so many blogs! I hope for more in 2011!!

Point to Ponder: Of Old Age Creeping In

"The way I picture it, adulthood is a big sleek jungle snake. It swallows you subtly, a bit at a time, so you barely notice the signs. You start reading the labels on things before you eat them; you find yourself listening to radio talk shows because the pop songs they play on the music stations (can this really be you thinking this?) all begin to sound the same. Before you know it, your furniture is nice. And suddenly you realize that you'd rather sit round your furniture and talk about the warning signs of colon cancer than, say, find out what happens when you set one of those plastic milk jugs on fire. And if your child sets a milk jug on fire, you yell at him, "somebody could get hurt", and really mean it, from inside the snake."
Dave Barry, Dave Barry's Greatest Hits

This is my point to ponder for this week. I found this passage from my old college days note book and it instantly struck a cord with me, the reason being that I am finding myself starting to become an adult. Yes, I know that I am married with two kids but nonetheless, I have always considered myself young at heart. I pretty much do things the way I used to when I was younger (at least that's what I think) but nowadays I get the feeling that I am starting to feel a bit older. I find myself frantically looking at my watch whenever I go out for a drink with friends, and when the clock strikes midnight, my heart is set on home. You have to have a very good reason to get me out of the house on Sundays. I hardly enjoy modern music and whenever I am looking for music or movies, my mind travels back several years back. I find FM radio stations boring. Yes, I need to be on the watch out lest adulthood make me start missing life!

King, Prince or Pauper: The Week's Point to Ponder:

Growing up, one of my favourite fiction authors was Jeffrey Archer. I especially liked his short stories, most of which always had the most unexpected of endings. I wonder whatever happened to him, the last I heard of him I think he was off to jail or something like that. My point to ponder for this week is therefore based on a quote from him, having felt low on energy the last week and getting this feeling that I might be slacking on work a bit.

“Never be frightened by those you assume have more talent than you do, because in the end, energy will prevail: My formula is: energy plus talent and you are a king; energy and no talent and you are still a prince; talent and no energy and you are a pauper.” (quoted by Michael Levine in Take It From Me)

Another reason why this quote impresses me this morning is because of a conversation I had with my brother last night as we watched Tusker Project Fame (my first time this season I must confess). We kept wondering why a majority of young kids who win these competitions never attain the great heights of stardom that these competitions promise. They just disappear into obscurity months after the show has been wrapped up. Is it because they don’t put in a hard shift like those working from the bottom up?

I have never considered myself really talented but everything I have ever achieved is because of a hard shift. Today I see many young kids thinking that everything will easily fall into place because they have some talent. The culture of just having to work hard to attain whatever you aspire for is no longer there. The mantra is more of “don’t work hard, worker smarter”. Not that I begrudge that, put in some context I agree but in the end, it should not be a philosophy of get shortcuts at every opportunity for nothing beats good old fashioned culture of honest work.


As I slack off, my daughters have been taking over my work!

Finally:
Sow a thought and you reap an act; sow an act and you reap a habit; sow a habit and you reap a character; sow a character and you reap a destiny. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

The Week's Point to Ponder: What Money Buys

I just found this quote from an an old notebook I have had since the 90s. It is attributed to an Arne Garbog though it does not cite the exact source (this is the age of Google so I will google him/her up). It goes:

"It is said that for money you can have everything, but you cannot. You can buy food but not appetite; medicine but not health; knowledge but not wisdom; glitter but not beauty; fun but not joy; acquaintances, but not friends; servants but not faithfulness; leisure but not peace. You can have the husk of everything for money, but not not the kernel."

Upon reflection, I realize that some of the best times I have had, times of real happiness, have been under circumstances where money was not involved. Of course it helps to have some money, it brings all the conveniences but we need to also learn to enjoy our lives without having to buy anything. Nowadays the pressure is on spending, consuming. We now live in an age where we are defined by what we can buy, consume. As I consume, so I am. When you turn on the TV, the radio, open the newspaper, it is always about buying more of this or that. When I walk into a supermarket with my small daughters, they want to be bought for this and that. What is it we really want? And can we only get it by buying it?

"It is not what you possess in life that gives you worth, but what you pass along to others" - Thien Loc Vo

Point to Ponder: Reflecting on the Celebrity Culture

When I was in college, I was an avid reader of Readers' Digest. Apart from the usual witty sections like "Laughter the Best Medicine" "College Rags" and "All in a Day's Work", one of my favorite sections was "Points to Ponder", a section that had profound statements, often about a paragraph long, on life's little lessons. Sadly I no longer see this section on the current South African editions that I occasionally pick up from Nairobi's street vendors. I was so addicted to this section that I would pick up the best of the lot and write them down in an exercise book that I still own over 10 years later (yes, I went to college when laptops were an extreme luxury and we wrote down stuff in our diaries and exercise books!). It was when flipping through this book - now aged with time - that I came across this gem:-

"When I was 12, I read Tolstoy. But I didn't know it was Tolstoy. I was interested in the story, not the author. A real reader, especially a young reader, never cares too much about the author. He wants to read the book and he enjoys it. When people begin to be less interested in the art, they become more interested in the artist."
- Conversations with Isaac Bashevis Singer, with Richard Burgin (Doubleday)

I have noticed a trend with some of my friends where before watching a movie, they ask who is in it. If it is not a superstar name, then they figure it is not worth watching. People go to poetry readings based on who will be there (and then proceed to chat away when the poetry is being read) and not necessarily to hear the poetry. If there is no high profile name in your event, it will be shunned by the media and thus the public. Even in organizations, it is now common to hear people brainstorm on the need to get a high profile name for an event to be a success. It is no longer about the content but rather in whose name the content is affiliated.

I have at times been accused of being aloof to celebrities and other high profile names that I have met in the line of work or socially. I might like your art, writing, music etc, but that does not necessarily mean I have to treat you as if you are more special than us mere mortals.