The Tooth Fairy Deception & Joy

Recently my 6-year old daughter, Tamia had a shaky milk tooth. At first it was not clear to me why she resisted having it pulled during the day and was only too willing to get it done at night. The tooth was eventually pulled out and she went into a brief state of mourning when it got lost. I tried telling her it was only a tooth and she would grow another one in a short while. That did little to comfort her and I only understood her position when she told me about the tooth fairy. Apparently if it was done at night, she would have safely placed it under the pillow and the tooth fairy would later take it and replace it with some money. I shook my head. When I was young, we simply yanked the tooth and threw it away in the nearest bin.

Fast forward a few weeks later and another tooth was loose. I got home to find her gurgling water and spitting blood into the sink, tooth firmly clenched in hand, a smile on her face. Her mother had yanked it out for her (she does all the bloody work in the house while I only take on chores that will endear me to the kids). This time she was determined to place it under her pillow and get her money. I struggled with the temptation of telling her that all this was nonsense and that tooth fairies do not exist. I did not want her to get disappointed when she got up and only found a tooth under her pillow. This is the time to start teaching her the reality of the world, I reasoned.

A voice inside however told me that maybe it only wise to let children enjoy the age of innocence, and the fact that I did not enjoy the same when I was a kid is no excuse to deny Tamia the same. I reluctantly gave the mum some coin to put under her pillow once she was fast asleep. The look on her face when she woke up was priceless. I was glad I did this because it is better for me to see that joy on her face, despite knowing that the whole story is a lie, that to see the disappointed that would have greeted me though faced with the truth. And I went to work a happy man that morning.


I wonder whether Tamia used that money to do her hair!

Rape by Deception - Really?

There was an interesting news story recently whereby Sabbar Kashur, a Palestinian from East Jerusalem, was sentenced by an Israeli court to 18 years in jail for rape by deception. Two years ago Kashur met a Jewish woman on the street in Jerusalem. He worked as a messenger for an Israeli law firm and like some other Palestinians looking to integrate more effectively into Israeli society had assumed the identity of a Jew. He called himself Dudu, a common Israeli name. On the same day the two had a consensual sexual encounter in a nearby office building. The woman, whose identity is still protected by law, did not know Kashur was an Arab. When she found out she filed a complaint with police. Kashur was questioned by police and spent two years under house arrest facing a charge of rape and sexual assault. It was later dropped to the one of "rape by deception" in a plea bargain.

This story elicited quite some discussions in the blogosphere, with some people calling it racism, others saying it was justified and others saying it was demeaning to ‘real victims’ of rape. One of the things that struck me was the argument about how many men would be behind bars if there was really a case of rape by deception.

It is generally accepted many men in our community that you got to ‘hype’ yourself up a bit to secure the affections of the ladies. While one would ordinarily dress sloppily, one would go the extra distance to dress in a certain way to attract the eyes of some lady. People have been known to even borrow clothes from their friends. Men have been known to also borrow cars to impress the ladies, lie about their actual incomes and even titles at the work place just to get that extra mark. Cleaners suddenly become Sanitation or Office Health Assistants or technicians. When these men land their targets, are they now guilty of rape by deception? And what about those who say they are in love when they are not but just want to get into someone’s pants?