Tuesday, October 25, 2011

A Blog, Immaturity and Blood

It has been a while since I was on this blog, or any other blog for example. I will not bore you with details of how busy my life was but in between the everyday "busyness" of life, I found time to discover one very interesting blog, Project 44 - Eve and Adam. I have previously seen the people who blog there leave comments on my blog and even though I had meaning to click on their link, for some time I never got round to doing it. So one day I clicked on the link. I say the blog is interesting because it is not common (at least for me) to find some local bloggers objectively discussing issues of relationships in a reasonable manner. Most of the local blog posts I come across on these issues tend to be about whining about how (especially marriages) are a dying institution and mostly highlight the negative. But maybe that is what readers are interesting in reading. So for me it was like a breadth of fresh air to come across this blog. Please pay them a visit, you will not be disappointed.

One of the posts I found interesting was a post about maturity. This got me reflecting about how many times I have exhibited behaviour that might be termed immature in my own relationships. Ok, maybe I should not be writing this, but now that I am writing this...These are some of the immature actions I have cast upon my loving partner who seems to have the patience of a Hindu saint.

One of the most silly thing I have done in the past is sulk. I know some will say that sulking is for women but truth be told, for many years I have been a sulker. When I was in school I would sulk for some time when I fell out with a friend, at times go days without speaking to him. On reflection, I only sulked if the offending party was a friend I held dear. If we had an argument and I felt nothing, then you did not mean anything to me. I have had misunderstandings with partner and I have sulked. I can say that there have been times when I have gone for days without speaking to my partner. When we finally spoke, we could not remember what was the problem in the first place. Nowadays I understand the immaturity of not wanting to speak to each other.

But perhaps one of my most immature actions took place in the middle of the night on a lonely road. We were from a night club and my partner and I had an argument. The argument continued in the car and at one point feeling I could not take more of this, I just slammed on the brakes, stopped the car in the middle of the road at 2am and decided I was going to walk the rest of the 10km home. My wife thought I was joking but I walked on, until she traced me 20 minutes later. I will not comment on how the situation was resolved but later I could not help thinking about I had exposed both my wife and I to danger, considering that this was a carjacking prone area. There has been other incidents, like damaging something but let me not expose my myself. All I can say is that I have now matured enough.

Still talking of maturity, what better way is there to show maturity than donating blood? Recently I met a team of young people who have decided to contribute to society by developing a blood donors database. I know this does not sound like a lot in the West or more developed countries with efficient blood bank systems but here it is a big deal. Going by the name of Wanadamu (literally meaning people of blood but also intimating humanity), their idea is simple. Wanadamu is an initiative that aims at bringing together donors and patients requiring blood by maintaining a database of willing donors. These donors are then contacted on demand, should an emergency blood appeal be made. It also avails the convenience to donors of knowing that they will be called upon as and when required. Enter your name and contact details and blood type into a database and when there is an emergency need of your blood type in your location, you could be contacted to donate blood. During this month of heroes, they are encouraging Kenyans to be heroes by donating blood to those in need. For me, this is something that we should all get involved in. Please click on this link to register and pass the info round. The objective is to have a minimum of 1000 donors in each of the 47 counties.

20 comments:

  1. I thought I hadn't seen a post from you for a while.

    This post is interesting and refreshingly honest. It's difficult for all of us to admit our faults and I admire you for this.

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  2. Yes, been a bit busy but I am now back. Will be over in your blog soon to check what you have been up to!

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  3. It is nice to hear from you again. I understand what you mean about being busy.

    I like your post and as Jane says, you are refreshingly honest.

    I'm sure that most if not all people have different immature behaviors or tendencies if they were to examine themselves, but they would probably never write about it. Your post brought me back to my younger years when I too was a sulker. I'm not sure what got me over it but I'm glad I am! I think the important thing is to examine oneself and work on the shortcomings found in the examination. It can take time. Perhaps some people will also need professional help.

    Your highlighted cause "Wanadamu" is doing important work and I do hope and pray that they will be successful in getting enough people to sign up!

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  4. We are honoured to know that Project 44 is doing something right. This is refreshing honesty on (im)maturity, an interest read. A great initiative there re Wanadamu.

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  5. its been a while since i was here too, change of comp and loss of addresses but hey, where there is a will there is a way.ur grandmother is petty old hehe

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  6. You were missed. Always appreciate your authenticity, Charles. I guess we all are constantly maturing, what say?

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  7. I remember a comment from my then 20-something-year-old son after hearing a 'relationship story' about his father and me, "Mom, don't take this personally, but you seemed kind of dumb when you were my age -- haha!" I replied, "Yeah, well, you should hope that by the time you're my age you look back and think you seem kind of dumb in your 20's. That will mean you've grown since then!"

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  8. Maturity is an ongoing process despite the age we are all in... Sometimes I think the older we get the more immature we get about simple things.. in that respect I feel the younger ones are mature in that respect!

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  9. wouldnt it be a bit risky there with all the AIDS %age...
    And did ur wife know driving?

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  10. Jon, she know how to drive! Been quite a while since I was on your blog but slowly getting there as I catch up on blogs I have been missing. Thanks for stopping by

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  11. Corrine, thanks!
    @sparklemezen - thanks for visiting. I agree there are things we seem to become immature about the older we grow! I will reflect on that and see if there is something I can write!

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  12. Joyful, your comments are always refreshing and it is nice to know I was not alone in 'sulking'! The cause is doing well and slowly getting people to subscribe!

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  13. Project 44, it is my pleasure to spread the wonderful work you are doing, I am reading even if I don't always comment!

    Peter, thanks!

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  14. It is said that we are all a work in progress every day. At the time sulking seemed to be the thing to do, now you know better thus the Maturity. Appreciate the honesty. Rare commodity.

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  15. I read somewhere today. Don't say your life is busy. Say it is rich and blessed. Same thing has happened to me. Several blog-worthy things have been happening but I've been too busy...er blessed.:) Now trying to get my mojo back.

    Nice post. Frank and spot-on. The silent treatment....we've all been there, but you opted to walk home?! lol

    Thanks for the link to project44.

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  16. Finally you are back, you did what??? Great to know you have finally matured up hehe though that never sounds quite right when telling it to a grown up! Lol
    Oh and Project44 is an awesome read, thanks

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  17. Martha, you are right, it is indeed a matter of progress and everyday we become wiser, but only if we are willing to self-criticize and learn!

    Mackel - It only does not sound right in as far that I am yet to fully mature, indeed there are stuff that I am sure someone will look at me and think about how immature I am. It is a process which is also subjective if you come think about it! I still recall that one day we will sit down over a bottle of malt and regal each other with life stories :)

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  18. Mrs Mwiti, thanks for your insight about being busy...I have learned something new today. Will try and avoid the busy phrase from today!

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  19. Glad to see you in the loop again, OtienoHongo. We evolve as we grow, Otieno and I'm glad for your wife now. I can imagine how she must have felt. Did she read this post? This reminds me that even I sulk at times and I go through prolonged bouts. Guess its time to let go.

    Thanks OtienoHongo for this piece of wisdom that you produced here.

    Joy always,
    Susan

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  20. Susan, thanks for stopping by. She has not read it yet but I am sure she will soon! Of course now we just laugh at such stuff!

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