tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7607526938969354988.post5068998810245509130..comments2023-08-10T12:23:08.071+03:00Comments on Reflections & Deflections: Small Talk, Plastic SmilesOtienoHongohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07116301778217920666noreply@blogger.comBlogger35125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7607526938969354988.post-70741455778244180442011-07-25T19:41:13.006+03:002011-07-25T19:41:13.006+03:00Edwin, well said...Edwin, well said...OtienoHongohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07116301778217920666noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7607526938969354988.post-11314404656011308582011-07-25T15:10:25.615+03:002011-07-25T15:10:25.615+03:00A certain degree of pretence is necessary for surv...A certain degree of pretence is necessary for survival. We have to feign interest in other people's interest and sometimes hide our true feelings about some things or people in order to get ahead. It's not taught in school but it's a skill we find indispensable as we get ahead.<br /><br />Not to say that it is right to be a phoney because history has also taught us that in the long run, being oneself and staying true to who you are pays off. Such pretences should perhaps be limited to the first few minutes of introductions in the cocktail parties and networking events.<br /><br />-- EdwinAbugaEdwinAbugahttp://bemogul.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7607526938969354988.post-74021295692652860372011-06-27T17:41:16.413+03:002011-06-27T17:41:16.413+03:00@Flying Pen, thanks for stumbling by! Thanks for c...@Flying Pen, thanks for stumbling by! Thanks for contributing to the debate as well<br /><br />@Eve - I agree, most people who write tend to be introverts, or it that introverts prefer to write?<br /><br />@Nyambura - thanks for adding to the list people I will look out for should we ever meet at an event, birds of a feather...<br /><br />Jon - sell, sell and sell! <br /><br />Mackel, I did come across that poem for the first time on your blog last month. If not mistaken I even left a comment on it I thinkOtienoHongohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07116301778217920666noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7607526938969354988.post-58361305057333547362011-06-27T16:17:09.876+03:002011-06-27T16:17:09.876+03:00Oh ok, I was thinking it was that other one the, s...Oh ok, I was thinking it was that other one the, still on that thought have you ever read a poem by Ogden Nash "Complements of a friend"? Its one of my favorites and really explains how you feel, I have a copy on my blog you could pass by and read it...Mackel9http://mackel9.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7607526938969354988.post-61117607174591575852011-06-27T10:21:39.917+03:002011-06-27T10:21:39.917+03:00:-) This one has me smiling. I'm usually terri...:-) This one has me smiling. I'm usually terrified of mingling with strangers and it's usually worse if it's an office function...it just feels awkward.<br /><br />If it's a social function I can't avoid, I'll show up with a trusty plus one who is more outgoing & at home with crowds. As for office functions, I just avoid them as best as I can, or make a quick technical appearance then disappear...Nyamburahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04297275756652351640noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7607526938969354988.post-49341578451383684022011-06-27T08:22:36.088+03:002011-06-27T08:22:36.088+03:00first time reading your blog and i must say i cldn...first time reading your blog and i must say i cldnt have stumbled on it at a better time.<br />I just got my first manegerial position,with my first cocktail this week.i wish i could pay someone to attend on my behalf.'my jaws hurt too' haha.you should probably do a post on to overcome thisroguenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7607526938969354988.post-79578614130421931062011-06-26T21:58:35.298+03:002011-06-26T21:58:35.298+03:00Why am I not shocked to find out that most writers...Why am I not shocked to find out that most writers (bloggers) and avid readers have a hard time making small talk? In case you didn't know, most writers are introverts.Evenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7607526938969354988.post-60823924388497380882011-06-26T01:30:38.171+03:002011-06-26T01:30:38.171+03:00Wow, this is so on point, glad I stumbled upon thi...Wow, this is so on point, glad I stumbled upon this page! Small talk with strangers makes me feel put upon and I dont subject myself to the pressure for pretense. Im a real person and if someone wants to talk to me theyll have to come up with something substantive. I second guess myself too much to enjoy galas and find that people are not usually themselves so its worthless to me. I REALLY enjoy new people when the chemistry comes naturally and interaction doesnt feel contrived. I take that as a clue.Flying Penhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18162508267161205155noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7607526938969354988.post-85048735770155242372011-06-24T21:15:59.995+03:002011-06-24T21:15:59.995+03:00I can never stand in a position like urs. I have h...I can never stand in a position like urs. I have heard people tell me i am not suitable for cusstomer facing jobs. Sadly more and more jobs r becoming marketing orientedJonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02353132118227776294noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7607526938969354988.post-46919938262020835932011-06-24T17:14:16.228+03:002011-06-24T17:14:16.228+03:00Mackel9, I have a brother called Steve Biko, so ob...Mackel9, I have a brother called Steve Biko, so obviously not that other one...OtienoHongohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07116301778217920666noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7607526938969354988.post-53719361515913499402011-06-24T16:44:15.969+03:002011-06-24T16:44:15.969+03:00This is much more of my own description, if we cou...This is much more of my own description, if we could wear masks to some events it would be better, when you say Biko is your brother, do you mean BikoZulu?Mackel9http://mackel9.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7607526938969354988.post-80638861875501546652011-06-24T15:38:20.430+03:002011-06-24T15:38:20.430+03:00Thanks for your comments Woolie!! Stay well as wel...Thanks for your comments Woolie!! Stay well as well...OtienoHongohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07116301778217920666noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7607526938969354988.post-50635407851262062202011-06-24T12:26:14.631+03:002011-06-24T12:26:14.631+03:00Excellent post and well written Otieno. I love the...Excellent post and well written Otieno. I love the comments too. Many people will have a view because it affects us all. Savvy has hit this on the head. The secret to the art of conversation is to be a good listener. Most people, given half a chance want to talk about themselves/lives/jobs/kids and by listening we learn and engage. <br /><br />Ofcourse a bit of liquid lubrication will help to loosen the tongue and free the mind.<br /><br />Stay well.wooliehttp://www.wetwool.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7607526938969354988.post-59750284085865656062011-06-24T12:24:46.226+03:002011-06-24T12:24:46.226+03:00Sally, I have been accused of preferring to send e...Sally, I have been accused of preferring to send emails rather than call people. I find it easier to put my thoughts on paper (or screen). So yep, you could be right!OtienoHongohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07116301778217920666noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7607526938969354988.post-63153344685021310862011-06-24T12:23:28.901+03:002011-06-24T12:23:28.901+03:00Savvy, there had been some issues with blogger but...Savvy, there had been some issues with blogger but hopefully sorted. I can see that your tactic is to mostly do the listening? Very clever!And yes, the wine helps!OtienoHongohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07116301778217920666noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7607526938969354988.post-46154868370693590792011-06-24T12:03:37.419+03:002011-06-24T12:03:37.419+03:00Charlo, you know quiet people like you and me make...Charlo, you know quiet people like you and me make good writers, we would rather put it in type...akinyihongohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10374308163152440364noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7607526938969354988.post-2336497918435119032011-06-23T19:33:26.671+03:002011-06-23T19:33:26.671+03:00Oh, plus the wine at such parties helps :)Oh, plus the wine at such parties helps :)savvy kenyahttp://www.savvykenya.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7607526938969354988.post-65347807292688055732011-06-23T19:31:54.826+03:002011-06-23T19:31:54.826+03:00I am one of those people who get along with almost...I am one of those people who get along with almost everyone, and can talk about anything! So I'm good at small talk. I wouldn't call it small talk really, I just find topics that a stranger is comfortable with/passionate about, and I let them talk while I listen!<br /><br />So I love to attend these 'cocktail' shows! Your brother and I could get along<br /><br />P.S. This is like the 4th time I try to comment and it either times out, or resets connection, or comment disappears into thin air!savvy kenyahttp://www.savvykenya.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7607526938969354988.post-996836391468194302011-06-23T16:10:00.689+03:002011-06-23T16:10:00.689+03:00Otieno I'll send you a link.Otieno I'll send you a link.Shiko-Msahttp://shikomsa.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7607526938969354988.post-83340387222351220012011-06-22T13:07:56.183+03:002011-06-22T13:07:56.183+03:00Joy, welcome. I think the two of us can easily pic...Joy, welcome. I think the two of us can easily pick out each other in these events right?<br /><br />Mrs Mwiti, your personality does not come across as such. You usually sound like someone who would relish these kind of events...but then again you are IT person, right?OtienoHongohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07116301778217920666noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7607526938969354988.post-69005493729106666892011-06-22T13:05:45.538+03:002011-06-22T13:05:45.538+03:00Joyful, saw your email over the weekend. Will resp...Joyful, saw your email over the weekend. Will respond soon! You are right, these things come with experience. I am now much better at handling these than I was a few years back. I will continue to persevereOtienoHongohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07116301778217920666noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7607526938969354988.post-12482066691299800662011-06-22T13:03:45.389+03:002011-06-22T13:03:45.389+03:00Shiko, which post is that? I'd like to read it...Shiko, which post is that? I'd like to read it in its entirety. No nonsense, oh, I fear those looks!OtienoHongohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07116301778217920666noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7607526938969354988.post-18833696543214696662011-06-22T12:40:16.269+03:002011-06-22T12:40:16.269+03:00Tell me about it!
The words "Networking lunc...Tell me about it!<br /><br />The words "Networking lunch" on event programmes, unnerve me.mrsmwitihttp://mrsmwiti.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7607526938969354988.post-74040751392260214882011-06-22T05:05:13.101+03:002011-06-22T05:05:13.101+03:00I feel you OH, small talk can indeed be hell when ...I feel you OH, small talk can indeed be hell when you are among strangers. I usually 'identify' someone who seems to be in my situation (among strangers with no one to talk to) and have a conversation with them. I've met many good friends this way :-)Joycehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07947113456352720115noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7607526938969354988.post-60457003488742358812011-06-22T02:16:38.815+03:002011-06-22T02:16:38.815+03:00I could really relate to your story as at one time...I could really relate to your story as at one time I found it very difficult to make small talk in certain social situations. I virtually forced myself however and now it seems to be quite easy in all situations. Personally however, I prefer to relate to people one on one or in small groups, rather than large groups of people. Persevere in those social situations and and I'm sure you'll be more than fine (p.s. I wouldn't have guessed you are quiet until you really know someone. I guess when we finally get a chance to meet, I will have to do the talking, lol. Sorry I didn't have a chance to meet you this time.)Joyfulhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09956413632864588646noreply@blogger.com