tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7607526938969354988.post1982656919908595995..comments2023-08-10T12:23:08.071+03:00Comments on Reflections & Deflections: On Friends, Compliments & SincerityOtienoHongohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07116301778217920666noreply@blogger.comBlogger21125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7607526938969354988.post-75839599467171742462011-08-15T17:19:56.632+03:002011-08-15T17:19:56.632+03:00Savvykenya, thanks for alerting me that I should b...Savvykenya, thanks for alerting me that I should be removing you from there, you have been there for more than a week!!OtienoHongohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07116301778217920666noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7607526938969354988.post-18754552135674043712011-08-15T16:59:49.662+03:002011-08-15T16:59:49.662+03:00Pitzevans, I did not notice you, I'd have said...Pitzevans, I did not notice you, I'd have said hi. Yes, next time!<br /><br />Spinster, I already did, check the post before this one!OtienoHongohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07116301778217920666noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7607526938969354988.post-2125963036854383342011-08-15T16:57:59.425+03:002011-08-15T16:57:59.425+03:00Colleen, too err on the side of kindness, I like t...Colleen, too err on the side of kindness, I like that phrase. It is something I think I will adopt! <br /><br />To the rest, I have actually learned quite a lot from your comments. Before I did this post I had never really reflected on this issue. Thanks for your contributionsOtienoHongohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07116301778217920666noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7607526938969354988.post-47008509205305290012011-08-14T21:51:52.827+03:002011-08-14T21:51:52.827+03:00I guess it's a little difficult. I try not to ...I guess it's a little difficult. I try not to lie to people but also don't want to hurt feelings. So if you ask me what your strange dress looks like, I won't tell you it's great. Maybe I'll throw in an 'it's interesting' and hope for the best!<br /><br />While you're feeling honest, I've tagged you to give 7 truths about yourself (on the assumption you haven't been tagged before). Happy writing<br />http://unmarried.blogspot.com/The Spinsterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16181623562490292771noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7607526938969354988.post-30744585241093575772011-08-13T13:33:25.278+03:002011-08-13T13:33:25.278+03:00My modus operandi is somewhere between Bec & P...My modus operandi is somewhere between Bec & Pitzevans -- I look for the good and I tell the truth. I have no patience with people who make stuff up to try not to hurt my feelings. That feels like more of an insult to me than the truth. It's like saying, "You were so awful I can't even bear to tell you how awful you were so I will lie to you to protect your fragile ego." Thanks, but no thanks ;-)Dangerous Lindahttp://www.dangerouslinda.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7607526938969354988.post-30278428646627217082011-08-12T23:44:02.078+03:002011-08-12T23:44:02.078+03:00And oh, thanks for giving me the 'thumbs of th...And oh, thanks for giving me the 'thumbs of the week' spot!savvykenyahttp://www.savvykenya.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7607526938969354988.post-42811424893832409662011-08-12T23:42:39.544+03:002011-08-12T23:42:39.544+03:00Most people don't want your honest opinion, so...Most people don't want your honest opinion, so I tell them what they want to hear. Those who genuinely want to hear what I want to say, I tell the truth. The trick is to differentiate the former from the latter.<br /><br />And when I tell you the truth.. I try to soften the blow.savvykenyahttp://www.savvykenya.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7607526938969354988.post-3949816689940259042011-08-11T18:38:18.837+03:002011-08-11T18:38:18.837+03:00i tend to say the truth to all people, needless to...i tend to say the truth to all people, needless to say most people have stopped asking me about things they don't want the truth to. I forgot to say hi at bakes last Friday, maybe next time.pitzevanshttp://pitzevans.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7607526938969354988.post-66864989266496955502011-08-11T15:26:48.390+03:002011-08-11T15:26:48.390+03:00This post certainly makes me think a bit.:) I gue...This post certainly makes me think a bit.:) I guess I prefer to error on the side of kindness...unless it is a very serious or important issue. A kind comment instead of a totally honest one may be the very thing that increases their confidence and enables them to do better the next time. It's a tricky issue though. I value honesty and yet at the same time, we are all so fragile, aren't we?:)<br /><br />Have a great day.:)Colleenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13564805397010089954noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7607526938969354988.post-88977592400539892282011-08-10T18:38:41.646+03:002011-08-10T18:38:41.646+03:00Bec, what you say is so true, truth about some stu...Bec, what you say is so true, truth about some stuff can always be interpreted differently by another eye depending on the culture and context. <br /><br />Jim, thanks for passing by and following. Will check out what you have at your place.OtienoHongohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07116301778217920666noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7607526938969354988.post-43152506473278350852011-08-09T21:20:29.479+03:002011-08-09T21:20:29.479+03:00I always tell my wife be 100% honest with me if I ...I always tell my wife be 100% honest with me if I ask you how a suit looks on me or how a meal I cooked taste. If your comment is not great..then I need to deal with it and the next time when you tell me it is great ..then I know you mean it!!!! It has value!<br /><br />I started following you!!<br /><br />http://jpweddingphotograpy.blogspot.com/2011/08/photographs-for-magnificent-monday.htmlJIMhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00989023921093283471noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7607526938969354988.post-27097787693550229752011-08-09T21:20:27.811+03:002011-08-09T21:20:27.811+03:00I meant to say *my* truth is not the same... :)I meant to say *my* truth is not the same... :)Bec Owenhttp://www.thehappinessgroup.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7607526938969354988.post-235492082990243772011-08-09T21:17:59.385+03:002011-08-09T21:17:59.385+03:00I think it's always nice to look for the posit...I think it's always nice to look for the positive aspects of each other...and focus on those. There is always something wonderful in everything and everyone; at times it can be more challenging to find, but I believe it's always there. <br /><br />I love your quote about friendship, too. I like to think it refers to telling the truth and being honest about ourselves, rather than giving a friend what we perceive to be the truth...after all, we each have our own, personal version of the truth, based on seeing life through our personal lens of experience. I like to remind myself that truth is not the same as everybody else's. <br /><br />Thank you, Charles, I enjoyed this thoughtful post. :)Bec Owenhttp://www.thehappinessgroup.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7607526938969354988.post-59300531285189935202011-08-08T12:32:19.542+03:002011-08-08T12:32:19.542+03:00And yeah, if I ask for an opinion, honesty is what...And yeah, if I ask for an opinion, honesty is what I prefer. It means your judgment means something to me.Millihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10443443318186249202noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7607526938969354988.post-34048896327858586662011-08-08T12:29:13.546+03:002011-08-08T12:29:13.546+03:00It actually boils down to who the person giving th...It actually boils down to who the person giving the compliment is to me. One cannot afford to even consider some peoples' opinions because there are those who always see the glass as half-empty. A sincere one from one whose opinion I value is good.Millihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10443443318186249202noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7607526938969354988.post-65235485789746806582011-08-08T12:01:18.660+03:002011-08-08T12:01:18.660+03:00Susan, I have actually learned something good from...Susan, I have actually learned something good from your comment about wanting to reiterate the thought though you already know that you look good. I have always wondered why my wife is asking me how she looks yet she knows that she looks good and I am not fashion savvy enough to offer a good opinion. Thanks for passing by Susan. <br /><br />Joyful and Jon, thanks for your comments too.OtienoHongohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07116301778217920666noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7607526938969354988.post-57629071487182241242011-08-06T21:03:57.263+03:002011-08-06T21:03:57.263+03:00very true..compliments might be very tuough to giv...very true..compliments might be very tuough to give out...especially when u have a load of ego. but it means a lot to the concerned peopleJonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02353132118227776294noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7607526938969354988.post-52906092492760607602011-08-06T08:42:43.840+03:002011-08-06T08:42:43.840+03:00Sincere compliments are always welcome but sometim...Sincere compliments are always welcome but sometimes when we know that we look good and then want to reiterate that thought, we ask for a second opinion and at that time if one hears something contrary, it is slightly irritable. But hearing positive comments all the time knowing fully well that the positivity is just a routine and pleasing technique, it is highly annoying. I try to be honest while doling out compliments but I do so in a way that does not seem offending: I would say "green looks better on you than violet" and the person would get the message without feeling bad. Even with friends, negative comments are not always easy to give. Everyone has a BIG ego and easy temper. So one has to be careful.<br /><br />Joy always,<br />SusanS. Susan Deborahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08885957854901839400noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7607526938969354988.post-25091003943232721172011-08-05T22:19:14.100+03:002011-08-05T22:19:14.100+03:00So if you're anything like me, you prefer sinc...So if you're anything like me, you prefer sincere compliments, not things said just to make you feel good. Of course, I prefer those who know how to share truths with sugar not with poison. :-) Sometimes I avoid sharing my real opinion rather than giving it straight up if it will hurt the person and I can't find a nice way to tell them. Avoidance is a harder tactic if someone asks you something point blank. Sounds like you it was a high profile event and that you got over your initial nerves.Joyfulhttp://www.snapthatpenny.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7607526938969354988.post-67419251806017809602011-08-05T17:36:03.999+03:002011-08-05T17:36:03.999+03:00I agree with you, there are stuff where you just d...I agree with you, there are stuff where you just don't put people down so I don't mean that you have to tell people they are "ugly" (besides that is subjective) or stuff like that. But if you ask someone for an opinion, would you prefer that they are honest with you or tell you what you want to hear?OtienoHongohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07116301778217920666noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7607526938969354988.post-34494265259428629172011-08-05T14:58:17.418+03:002011-08-05T14:58:17.418+03:00So now you will tell it as it is, right? Sometimes...So now you will tell it as it is, right? Sometimes a little sugar-coating helps boost morale. Especially about stuff that one cannot change.Millihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10443443318186249202noreply@blogger.com